Not in Kansas Anymore
by MusicalRenegade16
Summary: During an argument with River, the Doctor hits a lever, sending them all to Oz! But only Amy and Rory know what's going on, and they have to get River and the Doctor aboard the TARDIS when they're convinced they're Glinda and Oz. Oh, the headaches that will ensue...
1. Chapter 1

AN: I don't own, and I'm american, not british *cries*

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The Doctor and River were fighting. Despite what many thought, this was actually highly unusual. All of a sudden, the TARDIS started jerking and spinning like mad, alarms blaring, lights flashing, sirens roaring, people flying; the works. When all was quiet and still, I cautiously lifted my head and looked around. Only Rory was on board with me. We quickly ran outside to see if they'd been flung out; and stopped dead in the doorway. There were a bunch of tiny, colorful people surounding the TARDIS. We slowly walked a little farther and looked around. "Where are we?"

"You're in Munchkinland, of course," I whipped around at that. "River! You're o-" My words died in my throat at the sight that greeted me. My daughter stood in a deep blue ballgown and silver heels. Her hair was elegantly crafted, her make-up and jewelry flawless, as always,but she was utterly weaponless, she wasn't acting flirty, snarky, or even remotly River-like. And she had a tiara and a sonic wand. A. _WAND_.

"Who's River?" She aked brightly.

"Nevermind," I murmured.

"Well, in that case, we hail you for dropping your odd little box on the witch, and ask if there is anything you desire." I turned to Rory and realized he was dressed head to toe in black, and that I was dressed like Dorothy. "Do'ya reckon it's gotta go all the way though?" He nodded and I sighed. Then we would like to get home, please."

"Very we-" A cackle rent the air as the a dalek appeared. I don't know how it got here, nor did I want to, but we had to go through the whole shpeal, and I was tempted to just click the heels that came off a cyberman, but I sighed and started down the road instead; minus the ubsurd dance. Americans.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I don't own, and I'm american, not british *sighs* besides, i'd be playing river if i did own.

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RPOV: I don't know what's going on but it's so not funny. Though I do ike the clothes. My daughter didn't know us and there were creepy aliens all around us. How screwed up is my life? We walked, and walked, and walked, until we came upon this guy on a stick. "Hello?Can you hear me?"

I jumped as he spoke, "Yes, I can hear you, I'm Mickey, who are you?" (AN: It's not to be mean but the Doctor calls him Mickey the idiot, so he's the scarecrow.) We made our introductions, got him off the pole, and set off again. Soon we found the tin guy, oiled him up, and had him walking. Thankfully, neither guy sang. "And who are you, Tin-man?"

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness. They gave me some armor and told me to harvest trees since I can't die, but I rusted up, and I lost the love of my life, because she thinks I'm heartless."

"Well, perhaps the wizard can help you."

"Maybe he can." Soon we came upon a slightly round man hiding in the trees. We learned he was Craig, and that he was not brave at all. At this point I was trying very hard not deck harkness for flirting with me and my wife, but I cooled down a little when he got poor Craig to laugh.

And then we were off again.

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AN: yes short. yes simple. but this story is not turning out the way i wanted it to.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I don't own, I swear. i will write more DW stories, swear, this one and I just didn't get along. sorry.**

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**APOV:** With Craig, jack, and Mickey in tow, we made our way down the road, avoided the flowers, made the trees give us apples, and finally made it to the Emerald city. A guard named Donns noble let us in and escorted us off to a clean up station. I changed, Jack was polished, Craig was brushed, Mickey was patched up, Rory, well, he got a bow in his hair. He was _not_ happy about that. Not at all.

Soon we were escorted to the palace and saw a face in a cloud of smoke. This face had big ears, and talked like he was from the north. Then it shifted to a scottish (AN: Tennent is Scottish) voice and now it had sticky-uppy hair. It did it's little speech before sending us off to defeat the Dalek.

It threw everything it had. It sent it's Sontarans on jetpacks, it's sycorax guards, but eventually, i stood face to face with it. I splashed it with water, but nothing happened, I started to panic when Craig cried, "It's so cute!"

The dalek started to panic. I quickly started cooing things at it and it started waving it's arm-things. Jack started flirting and it started making incoherent noises. Rory babbled about putting a bow on it and it being an amazing ballerina. Mickey rambled about keeping it as a pet. It was spinning in circles and flailing when I hugged it and planted a kiss on it's metal head. The head spun in opposite directions then it's body, it made weird noises like a dying computer, then it shut down and exploded. We cheered and set off back for the city.

The Doctor revealed himself and showed us his sonic probe. it was pretty much what they said I made in that alien hospital. He was eager to show us the TARDIS, except, it was a hot air balloon. It took off without us, I clicked the heels, everything was back to normal, ie, River landed on the doctor, who was staring between us and her, who was smirking, awkwardly, when suddenly, Mickey, Jack, and Craig wre all on board. jack in River got into a flirting contest(I did not know that anyone could reach that shade of red, then again, the poor boy does have two hearts), and dubbed themselves 'Innuendoes in Space', agreeing that as long as they worked together, they could get the Doctor into previously impossible levels of sexy mischeif, their words, not mine. Although, from what I've seen, if the levels of 'sexy mischeif' increased any further, the universe will explode.

FINIS


End file.
